Thursday, May 28, 2009

poetic argument, real and imagined

seriously? seriously.

the car we could barely afford two summers ago,
with three years of payments
you've got left to go,
that you insisted upon having,
your sign of sportiness,
of i-have-arrived-and-am-i-still-cool?-
i think-yes-iness,
the damn thing with a payment that's keeping us from having a decent college fund for the kids,
and making you eat even worse than the average newly-single male--
and the blasted custom*1 cargo-box on the roof
that you just had to have,
maybe even more than the car itself,

you put a
SHARE THE ROAD WITH BICYCLES bumper sticker on the cargo-box
flagged on either side with gargantuan*2 iridescent gold mud flap girls.

wow, turning thirty-nine must have been harder for you than it looks.

no. no. no.
you cannot drive around our conservative town
with our seven- and two-year-old sons with that literally hanging over their heads.

Gnombot. seriously.
That is unacceptable.
[glances over his shoulder
toward what
I have great Faith
is a replica of
or an homage to
a sticker arrangement
he saw
at the races
he competed in
last weekend]
You may not pick up B. from school with that.
it is totally inappropriate.
you don't have a sense of humor?
he'd have to be about twelve or thirteen
to understand the irony of that.
[sure it's fucking clever.
you thrive on approval
from strangers--
the ones who are
thin enough
fast enough
witty enough
just a little bit different
but not too much like
crazy katiri.

and you can't maintain
that desperate
display in an attempt at coolness ,
and be a decent dad
role model
with that junk on your car.
they and their peers are too young
to get it.
and did i mention the choking desperation
that surrounds you?]
Put D. on the potty when you get home;
he hasn't pooped yet.
he pooped around this time yesterday
on the potty.
Yes, you did!
You sweet little man!
He needs a bath.
I'll take him swimming*4.
ummm, Do you have light jacket for him?
I think you have about three.
Do some laundry and get some clothes
for them back over here.
[pissy look. ]
[yeah, I'm still in your life,
up your ass,
telling you right from wrong,
when to take the kid to shit on the toilet,
that you shall bathe him today,
and that you have to do laundry,
you foolish, petty, insecure,

bye bye baby, see you tomorrow.
i love you!
[I am a
foolish, petty, insecure,
that-seriously, has she gotten hotter?-
Yes, I am actually hotter.
and I have lost about 15 pounds aching over you.
And, Yes, yes,
yes you are
But we can still be friends.]
[I know.]

[you're such a dumbfuck.]
[I said, I know.
Stop dwelling.]
[right on.]
see you tomorrow then.
[totally gonna keep those stickers on
and just
drive the kids around
with the cargo box up there.]
[that's fine.]
[i hardly believe that--
[--which is good
because you take pleasure
in thinking you're
"getting away with it."
shit, you're boring.

thirty-nine, huh?]
thanks for hating my mustache so fervently.]
[no trouble at all!
you looked like
an avid model train hobbyist
child abductor*5]
[I know.
look, now that we're divorced
let's do this less often.]
[sure, just lose the
'ironic' i'm sporty-funny-and-open-minded
please suck on me
sticker setup]
[right on.
thanks again.]
for real this time,
i have things to do
things that don't involve you]
[so jealous.
damn i miss you]

*1- extraordinarily expensive accessory for the vehicle we didn't need
*2- 12-14 inches in height.
*3- three triathlons in three days.
*4- in the pool at his desolate apartment complex.
*5- it was so terrible that i miss it.


  1. wow- reading this didn't make me miss you any less....

    love and appreciate you. let me know when you are available for a weekend.

  2. Goddam woman. You rule. I hung on every word -- yours AND his.

  3. thanks for the affirmations. go on . . . :lol:

  4. "thanks for hating my mustache so fervently" is my favorite poetry in years. I'm going to roll that around in my head all day like brain sushi.

  5. Oh, the mudflap girls would be the last effing straw...

  6. I read this post at least once a day. I LOVE IT.